Dealing with Death – again..
Panayota's Grandmother
Grandmother – Oleta Adkins – 96 years old when she passed away yesterday – July 6, 2010. God bless her journey to heaven where granddaddy awaited her arrival for almost ten years. A couple to admire who as Grandmother said – “Worked at their marriage every day” and the love they had for each other showed.
Yota believes that death is different for everyone. It is interesting how one significant recent death can collide with another equally significant death.
What the heck do I (yota) mean?
I believe that Grandmother is at peace after several years of deterring health – I get it – she was 96 years old. I will miss her but not angered by her death. Whereas, for those who have not been keeping up, my father-n-law Pat was a death that angered many, including me. Pat was too young to have died – to healthy – too much of an anchor in my families life. We still miss him.
My children saw Grandmother aka Great Grandmother frequently in the past few years. Grandma Mona would bring her over for visits since we live very close to the beauty shop (hair stylist shop) that she frequented almost every Saturday. Melinda is honest and said that she was not comfortable around Grandmother. She would dutifully hug her and briefly chat but… Alex just does not talk much (guy thing). I know my Grandmother differently then they know her. She is still the vital figure who owned a beauty shop in Midland, TX. I can still hear her voice ring out with her Southern drawl calling my Granddaddy – Francis. I have fond memories of her. In the past few years I had prayed often to win the lottery to acquire enough money to send her back to Midland to live in a very expensive assisted living where someone could take her to the beauty shop and where she could visit Granddaddy’s grave. Sadly – that did not happen. I believe she understood at times that at least she was with family – although she did miss her home:) Tomorrow we will have a very small memorial service to say a prayer and reminisce and hopefully receive a bit of comfort allowing us in Denver closure. My siblings and mom will be traveling to Midland, TX for the official send off for Grandmother. I would have love to see my Texas family but…
Melinda decided today to write about death. Of course, I feel it is wonderful, insightful writing – but she is my daughter. Read her words of wisdom as she remembers her Grandpa Pat.
Death
Death is not to be feared.
To some people, it is a friend to put them out of their misery.
Death can be a friend to those people.
The people who are healthy don’t realize that sometimes you have to let people go.
The people, who realize that, don’t like war because healthy people die when they still have lives to live.
But some of those people die protecting or defending their territory.
For that, they are honored by families or citizens.
When you lose a family member you don’t think that maybe it is for the best.
You don’t think that at the time but you start realizing that if they were alive maybe they wouldn’t want to live because they are in too much pain.
Death can be a friend.
By Melinda Stueber – July 7, 2010
