What’s in a title?

Dr., Mr., Mrs., or more to the point Dad, Mom… Different titles bring up different perceptions. Dad and Mom bring up a number of different possible life roles. Dad and Mom – caregiver, nurturer, teacher, nurse, councilor, (hopefully) roll model, and so on. Husband, Wife, Lover – these roles get lost once the PARENT word is spoken yet it seems that we spend so much time as parents that we forget the other parts, the parts that make us who we are (or were) even when the kids are not around. When the kids are around I find that Pattie and myself refer to each other as Mom and Dad. Labeling of each other starts out simple enough as we talk to our children and tell them to go get their mother or father. After a few years Pattie and I talk to each other in front of the kids as mom could you help Melinda. She in turn would ask dad to help with this thing or that. Eventually we start calling each other mom and dad on a regular basis and now if we are not careful we talk to each other like that even when the kids are nowhere to be found. I caught myself doing just that today as I asked mom what she wanted for breakfast? I looked around and noticed that neither Alex or Melinda were in the room. Pattie is not my mom and she is much more than just a mom so why am I calling her mom. This is a habit that needs to stop. I enjoy my role as dad, as parent and all the perceptions that come with that role but .. – we (I) need to be careful not to lose the other roles of our life – other parts of ourselves, the parts that made us- Pattie and Randy before children and hopefully helps us to be good parents now. So though Pattie is indeed a good mom I will start remembering that she is more. And I will call her Pattie or Panayota

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