To tell or not to tell?

One of the young ladies that used to live next door has moved off to college and unfortunately she left on bad terms with us.    Earlier in the summer she told us about a new boy she was seeing and that he was in a halfway house.  Pattie told her mother about the boy and her mom sicked her dad on the young lady to find out more about this boy.   Now, of course – she sees us as “traders.”  At what point do you mind your own business and not tell parents what’s going on with their kids?  If they are doing drugs – do you tell their parent?  If they are involved with a young man that could be serious trouble do you tell them?  And, of course in this case I doubt that it changed her relationship with this boy.  She will just not tell anybody about him anymore.   However, it has changed her relationship with us as she has cut off all contact.  She has been our neighbor and babysitter for the kids and had been close to our whole family since she was little so it is a shame that she feels she has to cut ties.  Ultimately, though I do not think it was wrong to let her mother know about the boy.  It’s up to her mom to decide how best to handle it after that.  She is off to college now and we wish her the best. 

And, Yes – I would want to know if my daughter was dating someone that was in a halfway house.

One Response to “To tell or not to tell?”

  1. Panayota here – in my defense. I did not go running over to the neighbors house and spill the beans about her “boyfriend”. I was directly asked by the “mom” when we were riding in the young ladies car who the heck the picture of the boy was. I started with my standard “Do you really want to know?” Then, I did spill what little I know because I can not tell a lie. I always say “If your parent asks me a question about you I will tell the truth.” I have mentioned to several of our little neighbor buddies that if they don’t want me to tell then don’t tell me the bad stuff. Maybe that is “chicken shit” but I am a “Mom”:)

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