I wrote this a couple of years ago and I thought now would be a good time to post it, even if it is summer. Pattie and I decided it was time to get the kids up Skiing. At the time Melinda was 5 and Alex 8 both seemed quite excited. After they had taken a few lessons from someone else – We took them up to ski with us.
The morning came too early. Getting up at 5:30am (why are we doing this?) in hopes of avoiding the traffic. We spent 1/2hr packing the car while the kids fought (why are we taking them). We fed the kids and packed them into the car. WE DID NOT MISS THE TRAFFIC!! An hour and 1/2 later we made it to the ski area where we stood in line for another hour to get skis for them. While waiting in line I spend most of the time tiring to keep them from fighting and myself from yelling (why did I come?). We finally get their equipment and start getting everything on. When I was much younger skiing was all I wanted to do. Now I am 25 years older and 25 lbs heavier. I have a couple of extra inches around my waist (OK 4 or 5 inches). So bending over to buckle my boots I feel the extra gut and a sharp pain from scars on my stomach. An extra reminder of the surgeries I had 8 years earlier. If that isn’t enough I start feeling guilty about the bills we have and the money we just spent to come here. The stress of life had followed me up the mountain. Why am I doing this again? The kids start fighting and complaining about how their boots fit and how their goggles were to loose or to tight. Why did I bring them? We go outside and the complaining continues. My gloves are on wrong, my head is itchy, I’m hungry. I finally get everyone’s skis on and start for the chair lift.
Getting to the top of the mountain we start to relax a little bit. We find a nice run with a little bit of powder on it. As I make a few turns down the mountain I feel a wisp of powder gently cool my face and I take a deep slow breath. For a moment all I could hear was the sound of my skis gliding across the snow, all I could feel was a cool breeze flowing past me. For a moment I felt no scars. For a moment I did not feel 20 years older or 25 pounds heavier. For a moment – For a moment the bills did not matter. For a brief moment I felt free – truly free. Stopping 1/2 way down the hill my 20 years and 25 pound’s returned the scars and the bills were still with me, but as I closed my eyes I could feel that magnificent moment of freedom lingering on and my little pains seemed less significant – I knew why I came. I look up the hill to see my children following. I think about the school work that they fret over; the spelling tests the math tests. I think about how I yelled at them to get their rooms cleaned, yelling at them to stop fighting, yelling at them to stop yelling (yea that makes sense?).
I think about the stress in their young lives much of which comes from me. Then they ski past me and I hear the joyful squeals of “Hi daaaaaaaady” and I knew why I brought them.
Watching Alex and Melinda fly through the snow to the bottom (faster than I like) I whisper a short prayer.
May their falls be few.
May their injuries be minor. And
May they EXPERIENCE
MANY MAGNIFICENT MOMENTS OF FREEDOM.
Love DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADY
Tags: family activities, parent guilt, parenting by Randall
No Comments »
